Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
