Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
