Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
they need to just BURY HIM!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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