you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
