you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
