lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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