hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
