I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
