you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
did i walk over a car last night?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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