The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
