Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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