i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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