She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize