So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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