I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
