apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
