My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
