did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
