I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
