So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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