It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
