Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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