oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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