I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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