That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
