Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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