Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
