i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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