we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
