i think my tv is drunk
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this boner is exhausting
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
