Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
