i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
please come you make the beer taste better
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
