Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Randomize
