fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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