ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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