If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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