Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
