Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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