these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My life is pants optional.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
