Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
