i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
