Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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