let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
