doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
