Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize