I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize