how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
