I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
