Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
high people should be assigned attendants
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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