K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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