We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
