He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize