love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
