I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
