Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She told me I should be a condom model.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Success! We fucked roommates!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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