So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
