sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
