so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
