i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
